When I knew God was listening to me

One day I was praying to God while driving. It was a day. I was super unsettled and was experiencing quite a bit of anxiety. I told him all the things I was worried about and asked to know if He was there for me. I just wanted a classic, "and in that very moment" story. But I felt like I was talking to myself, not going to lie. Here I was pouring out my soul to God, without realizing the 80km road I was driving on changed to 60km. I sped right past a cop and got a speeding fine. That whole day, I felt like I was being tapped by an annoying hammer, and that was the last hit and I cracked. I was so confused about the timing of what just happened. Was God even listening? (YES HE WAS) Did He not hear me say how anxious I was? A $280 fine didn't feel like the "warm fuzzy hug" I was desperately wanting. When I say I cracked after that, I made it to the beach car park, and cried. I didn't even touch the sand haha. Then I said another prayer. I don't remember everything I said. I just remember feeling broken and told Heavenly Father I wanted to feel better and that I trusted Him. I wouldn't call this an "in that very moment" story. I finished my prayer, and yea I felt a lot calmer. I began my drive home. It was on the drive home when I felt the most bizarre feeling. Only fifteen minutes ago I was crying. And here I was, laughing!! I felt like my heart was receiving a warm hug! I could almost imagine Heavenly Father smiling and telling me, "My child, don't worry. You have nothing to worry about". I felt so happy that I couldn't help but laugh. (I think it would've been a hilarious sight to see). Looking back on that day, God was listening to me! I asked to know if He was aware of me (HE WAS). I can only describe my laughing on the drive home, as a little miracle from Him.

The "joy" thief (shoo it away!)

About to get something off my heart, so scroll down for a good ol' chit chat about something we ALL do sometimes:) 

Who is the "joy thief"? 

It is not person. Nor something you can see or touch. In fact, without physically "holding" it with your bare hands, you can carry it with you wherever you stroll! Huh? How does that make sense? 

The answer? COMPARISON. 

Theodore Roosevelt's words are, " Comparison is the thief of joy". 

We all do it, don't we? We've been trained to compare ourselves to others since the classroom days: Am I below average? Average? or Above Average? "How did you do on the test?..Oh me? I got a solid B.."

Comparison robs you of your joy because you may think your lack of 'x , y , z' means you're behind in the "race". This life is not a race! There's no such thing as a "life winner" (even if you think someone else has life figured out, they don't. No one has). 

I remember feeling behind in the "race" at 13. After P.E, I watched the other girls swipe on their mascara in the school bathroom and I felt like I wasn't "grown up enough" because I was teased for being a "flat chest", wasn't as "boy crazy" as other girls seemed to be, and I wasn't wearing any makeup at the time. What a silly thing to think I wasn't "grown up enough" (especially at age 13 haha!). 

Since coming home from my 18 month church mission, I've realised that life isn't a 1, 2, 3 "ladder". I used to think I had to accomplish "this and that" by the time I would be age "x" because that's what people did?? 

Every one of us is living our own story, unique and personalised to one's self and no one else's. It's too easy to fall into a toxic thinking that tells you, "Bob bought a house. You should be buying a house", "Susan wrote a book. Where's your award-winning novel?", "Sonya did her morning meditation. But didn't you sleep in?". STOP comparing your life to others! 

Since you're the only one living YOUR life, you're killing it! You're succeeding! You're "winning";)  I've learned that my life is going to look a bit different to what I planed it to be and that's a good thing! It will look different because I'm the one living it (not Bob, Susan, Sonya). No one else can live my life for me. 

Get rid of "Then I'll be grown up enough" thinking. What does that even mean? "Grown up enough doesn't exist". It's like saying, "I'm human enough?" 

To conclude my jumble of thoughts, just remember: Life isn't a race. We are not competing with each other. No one has life figured out. We're all trying to figure out life. But not "life" as a generalised concept. No. Your unique life, perfectly crafted with it's high mountains and low rivers, just for you. 

for you. 

Hello there!

I can already tell you that we have at least one thing in common. You and I? We are H U M A N. I am a simple, living, mistake-making soul in an imperfect body. Since there are no such thing as perfect people..maybe you can relate to me on many "human" things.

For example.

In my twenty-one years of living on this Earth..I've gone to bed without flossing my teeth more than would make a dentist happy.  I've lived plenty of days with mis-matched socks. I was always the late kid in school..anddd I've walked into the men's bathroom too many times to count.

To give you a beautiful image of myself at this present moment..My hair is greasy and my legs need a shave. Until the appointment with shampoo and my pink razor, call me "Hairy Mclary" (fav childhood book;)).

If you saw my current look..basketball shorts and oversized T-shirt..you wouldn't know that I actually enjoy getting all "prettied up" for the fun occasion! A dance, a wedding, whatever it may be..out come the heels and lipstick. Playing dress-up as a child carried on with me. It's just as exciting to feel like a princess as a 21 year old, as it did as a four year old!

Well, hello! My name is Jenna. I like a calm shade of baby blue or pink. Sunflowers light up my world. I'm freckled from head to toe, where the sun has kissed me. I get asked if my red hair is natural, and yes it is..I love my four little siblings, my mum and dad, and my little doggo. I love My Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus christ. My happy place is the beach. I'm studying psychology at University. Anddd, I love cameras and lenses.

Welcome to my little space! Grab a pillow, slip on fuzzy socks, make yourself a hot chocolate. You do you. But yea, welcome. Good to have ya here!